Fanboy, meet your maker.|
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|Monday, July 7th, 2008|
So I played Metal Gear Solid 4
More like Metal Gear Solid Bore, am I right? If I wanted to sneak around all day, I'd just do what I do everyday...sneak around, blend in with walls (WALLFLOWER. GET IT?), that sort of thing.
Why pay $60 to hide from people when you can do the same thing at work, school, or the grocery store.
I would get a kick out of seeing more geezer types (like Snake in Metal Gear Bore) sneaking around in the cereal aisle with a tranquilizer gun mumbling about "settling the score."
Of course, if I have to stand there and listen to them talk for two hours at a time with an aloof stuttering nincompoop of a little girl, then perhaps it's not so funny afterall.
|Wednesday, November 14th, 2007|
| Super Mario Galaxy is soul-shakingly, love-makingly, life-changingly, genre-savingly good!
I haven't played it yet, but I'm a big adverb advocate so I had to quote The Fanboy
I'm sure that in 10 or so years I will have warmed up to the idea of Super Mario Galaxy
enough to play it, but for right now I'll have to stick with Super Mario Bros. 3
on the Wii Virtual Console. I'll tell you what... The ability to hit the home button and return to the Wii menu at any time really adds to the SMB3 experience. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for sitting in one place long enough to play the game through to the finish, but all too often there's some sort of lame interruption like work or food and the game simply gets switched off. Now I can play three worlds, turn it off, then come back after a fortnight and finish the job.
In other news, HDMI
can S my Fing D. Seriously.- LINK'S UNCLEThe opinions expressed above are not necessarily representative of the views of The Fanboy's video_games_lol, and may not be copied or reproduced without the express written consent of Mario Mario.
| Super Mario Galaxy
is soul-shaking, love-making, life-changing, genre-saving good!
It's as if the God of Gaming (KrateruMiyamotos
) left me to fend for myself in the fucking jungle of prowar bullshit games
with no imagination
(yes, I'm talking about Call of Duty 4
...I rented it...for free)...
Then He came back. He came back for ME...with one of the best games any of us will ever play.
|Thursday, August 16th, 2007|
So Screw Attack...yes, Screw Attack
, the not funny pseudo-radio video playdough, hom...well that one's too easy/needlessly derogatory, lameo video game show hosts...o, put up a new top 10 list. This one was the worst Mario games.
But, if you watch the video
you will see that the list is just plain stupid.
They pick on computer software that used the Mario license to promote education...
and include genuinely fun games like Mario's Tennis (Virtual Boy) and Mario Clash just because they do not like the systems on which they appeared.
And to top it all off...they included Super Mario Bros 2.
Sure, it was only at number 9, but it was a travesty and a shame, and well...I just cannot accept it.
I wish GameTrailers would go back to making their own lists and just let the Angry Video Game Nerd
(seriously funny) handle everything else.
|Thursday, July 26th, 2007|
Here's some upcoming "games" that I just don't care about:
Conan (no, not the good kind...the red-headed comedy-loving kind...this game is all about the dumb one *sigh*)
Haze - I mean, seriously...this game looks so bad. And the journalists seem to be trying to like it. Why try to like yet another ho-hum FPS?
Medal of Honor: Airborne - More like Medal of Honor: Hair Shorn, amirite?
Viva Pinata: Party Animals - Fuck you, Microsoft. And to think, I thought I liked you for a few minutes, there.
Devil May Cry 4 - The Fanboy May (not) Care
annnnddd...since you g00ns think that I will not hate on a Wii exclusive:
Boogie - I love music games, but this just looks like something that EA thought of.
.......................yep, they did.
Now imagine Shadow the Hedgehog saying, "Damn..." all depressed-like and laugh yourselves to sleep.
|Thursday, July 12th, 2007|
So all three of the E3 conferences have taken place and they were lame.
Microsoft's did not end in Peter Moore pulling his scalp off, but even if it had, I wouldn't have known thanks to G4's shitty coverage.
Not that it mattered, unless you like looking at Mister Chief's hell mit, am I rite?
Sony just...well...LOL. I'll save that for tomorrow.
And Ninty announced Mario Kart. Mario Kart! With a wheel. It is awesome, and I will definitely spend my time owning all of you online the day it comes out. As for the casual stuff that Nintendo showed...quit whining about it! It's going to make the girls flock to the Wii...and isn't that all we ever wanted? You'll still get your Mario Kart and Smash Bros, so shut up...Burger King hunger style.
|Wednesday, July 11th, 2007|
|off the road again?..
That's right, The Fanboi. VGLOL is back for good this time at its original home, EL-JAY. We keepin' it simple, fuckers. And don't expect any E3 news from me unless it involves an Ex-Box and a fire extinguisher. That's a story I can get behind. I'm sure The Fanboy will have lots of things to tell you in the next couple of days. For now, let me clear up a few rumors you may or may not have heard about me, LINK'S UNCLE, over the past year or so.
Rumor #1: We heard that you have been seen playing an Ex-Bawx Three-Sixxx-Tee.
Okay, fuck you. I did play it once. But it was just Pac-Man Championship Edition and Galaga, fools. Don't get any crazy ideas. I'm still a strictly old-school gamer.
Rumor #2: You publicly swear off all next-gen systems and games, but own a Nintendo Wii and love it.
Well here's a fucking newsflash for you, the Wii and it's Virtual Console are fucking amazing so you can just fuck right off. This isn't even a valid rumor, I always spoke highly of the Virtual Console. Everyone likes the VC. The VC could rape your baby sister and she'd love it. So there, I own a Wii. Such a lame rumor.
Rumor #3: You went out and purchased a new 42" Plasma HDTV for your games.
Nope. I prefer my games on a 17" Samsung with "INPUT 1" burned into the upper right corner. Movies, on the other hand....
Rumor #4: 4srsly, we saw a PS/3 hooked up to your 42" Plasma TV, really...
LOL. Yeah, you did see it hooked up, but did you see it working? Nope. Do you want to know why? Because the PS/3 is the most worthless piece of shit in the entire fucking universe. Yeah, some kid wanted to "see wut hiz 1337 new pee-ess-three w00d l00k lyke" on my amazing screen. Apparently my TV was too amazing for his piece of shit because it wouldn't even fire up. I LOL'D!!!11!!!!1!!! Fuck Sony. And fuck you for accusing me of something so heinous.
That wraps up today's rumors. Send me something. firstname.lastname@example.org.
- LINK'S UNCLE
The opinions expressed above are not necessarily representative of the views of The Fanboy's video_games_lol, and may not be copied or reproduced without the express written consent of Jim Bob.
|Tuesday, July 10th, 2007|
|Back in Black
Cue the doves, motherfuckers! Video Games LOL is back....in black.
So, Link's Uncle and I decided that with the insanity of E3 (which stands for Everyone Eats Everything...it's kind of about fat people in America, I suppose) it is about time that we start doing this thang again.
So, let's start this off with a bang:
Microsoft's press conference starts in about an hour or two or who cares when?
The Fanboy's prediction: during the presentation of Halo's single player, the 360 will get the red lights of d00m. :/
Peter Moore will pull his hair out but will realize that he is, in fact, bald...and actually pull his skin off.
The blood will splatter all over the Bungie fanboys, and N'Gai Croal will say "I told you so" in his blog.
I love E3!
|Thursday, January 12th, 2006|
Ladies and gents, Video Games LOL
is now online! Do it! Plenty of new updates...
|Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006|
So Memnoch helped me survive the final boss in Metroid Prime
. The game is over. I am starting Metroid Fuzion
for the good ole GBA in the meantime.
To Do List:
1.Walk into EB Games wearing a suit and tie, accompanied by four people who are shorter than I dressed as Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Donkey Kong. These people will open the door for me, then roll out red carpet. I will then walk in the store, stroll over to the PSP section and knock over all of the "games" on the shelves. Then before the clerks can even begin to pull themselves back together, I will snap my fingers and my crew will pick me up and carry me out of the store in a march of victory.
2.Uhh, I'll think of more stuff later.
|Thursday, December 29th, 2005|
It's time for the Fanboy's end of the year lists. These lists will be the last thing that I post before I introduce the new staff members and move to VIDEOGAMESLOL.COM in early 2006. Like, hopefully next week. I will post something here whenever there is an update on the dotcom site so you all can keep in touch with it. So here's my lists:
Let's start with the top five Gamecube
games of the year:
5. NBA Street V3
4. Super Mario Strikers
3. Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat
2. Mario Superstar Baseball
1. Resident Evil 4
No, I didn't finish Resident Evil 4
, but the game is just superb. It excels in design and gameplay. And for those of you who didn't play Donke Kong: Jungle Beat
, I hope you're happy with yourselves. It's one hell of an experience.
Now for the Nintendo DS
4. Wario Ware: Touched
3. Advance Wars: Dual Strike
2. Kirby: Canvas Curse
1. Mario Kart DS
Those games were simply my five favorite DS games of the year. I think Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrows
is better than some of the titles on my list, but alas, I am the only person on staff here, so these are my five favorite games. And yes, Nintendogs
is amazing, but it just doesn't stick with you like some of these other games.
There were some amazing games for the PS2 this year, such as Shadow of the Colossus
and Tekken 5
, and the XBOX had several swell titles, including the best football game that I have ever played, NCAA Football 2006
and the ever-fun Halo Multiplayer Map Pack
. But ya' know, it's all about the Ninty for the Fanboy. So here we have the top five most stupid things of 2005!
5. Advent Rising - Majesco, the same people who brought us the awesomeness of Earthworm Jim
, delivered this over-hyped, glitchy, flawed piece of shit to the masses in 2005. Thanks, guys!
4. XBOX 360 launch line-up - Come on Microsoft, where's the "must have"?
3. Judgement Day - This is one terrible fucking show. I don't care how average the other host is, that dude with the black hair is a total douche! Thanks for giving Sony handjobs to help sell their games to unsuspecting idiots! Fuck you G4.
2. Seanbaby - I really really really really don't like this guy. Let's take a look at the picture of my friend, Seanbaby.
This guy just doesn't think the Revolution controller cuts it. It's just not where video games need to go. He thinks it's a disaster. He gives no real reasons, though. Thanks, Mr. Baby, Sean.
1. "Urban" games - Let's all take a moment to think about all of these urban games. I understand if you're laughing too hard to look at the screen right now; I am too. As long as mindless idiots buy 50 Cent's games, there will only be more of this trash. Of course, not on Nintendo's systems. But that's something that Seanbaby sees as a problem.
Five predictions for 2006:
5. The PS3 will be awesome but will cost too much.
4. Twilight Princess will be one of the top three games of the year even though it will be for an outdated system.
3. The Revolution will sell like hotcakes. Apparently hotcakes sell well.
2. The 360 will see some solid, solid titles. Gears of War should be awesome.
1. Mario Revolution will redefine gaming and make us all feel like kids again.
So there you have it. Another year has come and gone. Some amazing games came out, Nintendo went online and showed off a very cool new controller for the Revolution. I cannot wait for 2006 and the news that it will bring, as well as the exciting things that are in store for this site. Thanks for the support, and please tell your friends about Video Games LOL.
|Saturday, December 24th, 2005|
Not trying to go all "Rumor Central" on you all, but according to a fairly credible source that I refer to... The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
will indeed still be a Gamecube game. How is this interesting? Rumor has it that putting the game in the Revolution will allow you to control the game differently...yes, that means with the controller as a sword. And yes, yes, yes, that's awesome.
|Saturday, December 17th, 2005|
The blog that you all have come to hate/LOVE, Video_Games_Lol, is making the jump to the big leagues! Thanks to the legendary Link's Uncle, starting January 2006 VideoGamesLOL.com
hits the internets, www., dot.com, website, intraweb scene! It's going to be big, folks. Go take a bath; I know you're all sweaty now. Must. Play. More. Meroid Prime
The Fanboy Current Mood: bouncy
|Thursday, December 15th, 2005|
During this Christmas season I will be adding two regular contributors to this VIDEO GAME blog. It is no longer just a fanboy blog (although trust me, there will be plenty of Ninty love.) I just want to add a little more rpg coverage from Memnoch the Devil and some game criticism/old school love from Link's Uncle. So, look forward to that. You will still get regular updates from me, The Fanboy, covering the very exciting Nintendo Revolution launch period as well as all other Nintendo happenings and video game happenings in general.
I played Full Auto
for the XBOX 360 yesterday, and it is such an amazing game. It is the perfect combination of Burnout
and Twisted Metal
, as it features insanely fast racing with plenty of missile combat. Sweet. In other news, I hate the new Prince of Persia
game, I just cannot believe how angst-driven they've made this series. UBI SOFT sucks.
The PS2 has many a good game, but I don't like to point those out. I like to point out games like...FRIENDS
. AHHAHAHAH. Oh well.
Expect my end of the year wrap-up and look at what's to come in 2006 very soon. Stay hate! I mean great! Current Mood: happy
|Sunday, December 11th, 2005|
| Mario Tennis: Power Tour
is back on my list! Thank you IGN for restoring my faith in the game. Thank you veddy much. How did I ever lose hope for a Mario tennis game, anyway? Must be the finals. Or maybe, just maybe...it was Sony. They've poisoned my food! My thoughts are no longer my thoughts! Oh my, what's happening to me?! Mario, Samus, Kirby, for God's sake...help me!
Ok. I feel better now.
|Saturday, December 10th, 2005|
Lyke OMG, GRAPH1X AR3 T3H K3W1!
|Thursday, December 8th, 2005|
So my goal for Christmas break is to beat Metroid Prime
and gain a lot of headway in Metroid Prime: Echoes
. My break starts next Wednesday, wish me luck.
I might just spend it playing Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
. Oh man, I'm looking forward to this!
The Fanboy Current Mood: cheerful
|Tuesday, December 6th, 2005|
A big thing for me with the Revolution is being able to download old games. Here is one game that The Fanboy will be downloading to his Rev (I will be doing this from time to time until I have some substantial Rev news...trust me, I have rumors)Diddy Kong Racing
Ok, fine, here's one rumor from someone whom I respect a great deal:
Revolution to launch November, 2006.
What, still not good enough. Ok, another rumor: Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
will still be coming out in April or May, as opposed to being bundled with the Revolution to show off the system's backwards compatability. We'll just have to see.
The Fanboy Current Mood: HA
|Monday, December 5th, 2005|
|Updated Fanboy Christmas List and a game that I loveeeee...
Hello everyone who loves me and wants to send me an XMas gift. I have updated my loot that I want:Gunstar Super Heroes
Platinum Wavebird controller (Gamecube)
Any Diddy Kong Racing
action figure or Wario or Luigi action figures from Mario Kart 64
So I bought Metroid Prime
today for only five bucks! It's such a great game; I kinda' can't get over it. Thanks for giving me the right perspective going into it, Crow!
|Friday, December 2nd, 2005|
The Revolution will prevail. Simple as that. Honestly, why the hell not?
Here are some things on the Fanboy's wish list:
Mario Power Tennis - GBA
Gunstar Super Heroes - GBA
Wavebird controller - GCN
Wario and Yoshi Mario Kart 64 action figures
Mario Kart phone
I have to decide about those first two GBA games. I think I want them. I'm supposed to be getting Super Mario Strikers
from Mother Fanboy! Kappow!
Prediction to make: True Swing Golf
for the DS will be one of the games of the year for 2006. Watch for it.
The Fanboy Current Mood: peaceful